ehem ehemm. well its been a long time that i didnt speaking in english at here. yaa i know that my grammar is still upside down. but im trying my best to make it right.
when u know that u're wrong, admit it. change it and make it better !
how was my life in college? just fine. or normal i think. i got sporting classmate, meet new people, learn new things, experience more moment and most important things, im happy with my family at here :)
but still, there's something is going on my mind lately. well i been realize bout this since a few month ago but now its seems too clear. and im so damn worried bout it. i really want to help her. everyone does. but we cant do anything when she dont even let herself a chance to do it. just like me before.
seriously im still regret with what had happened before. the "things" between me and the culprit. its still makes me in trauma to be with someone else. yes i believe with my new man. i believe that he will never do the same thing as the culprit does. but the feeling.. its still make me mind bout everything. not even that, to be honest i still missing my buddies. well ya.. now she's my ex-buddies. she's change. and i blame myself for that. it's all started because of my decision to be with the culprit. it's the stupidos decision ever ! i tried to fix everything back to normal but its too late ! and now i just keep following her updates with the guilty feeling. well yes its not 100% my fault but its began with me. and that's are not okay.
but most of all those regret, i was more regret when my love lost her trust toward me. i HATE it ! really really HATE that time. it's feel like im losing everything. family, friends, and respect. that things i regret about are not supposed to happen ! i feels like it's change half of my life ! if and only i could go back and change everything. but its too late now. i know its no use for me to keep lament bout that.
now i just live simple and behave. learn from my mistake. and try to be better. yes im still afraid that i will do the same things. but for now i still doing it right i hope.
bout that person i'd been worried bout.. i dont want she have the same situation like i've been through right now. i know that its still not too late for her coz the others are still care bout her. but she's still doesnt realize bout it. and things is keep getting worse. im afraid if she's still carry on doing that mistake, she'll get dumped. and on that time, the words "*.*" that she keep saying will really means something. i really really hope that she'll give herself a chance to make it right. a chance for her friends to help her. and a chance to move on with the right way. i want she to know that, not everything will be going as we want. not everything can be perfect. none. but it could be better if u try something.
its for your own good. im sorry.
okayyyyyyyy. thats enough. im afraid that i'll make another silly mistake. sorry for my words and my upside down english. its actually a practical for my coming oral next week. huhu.
silly me
